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I was thinking that maybe I would give this whole, just drinking a little bit at a time thing a try. I can do this, I can so do this. At least that’s what I’m telling myself. Last night I did it, yup, three drinks. The only thing is that I was so very bored. It was a ho-hum Wednesday, when usually Wednesdays at the mill are the place to be, and you have a rockin’ time, but nope, not this time. So if I’m not supposed to drink heavily, and drinking only a little isn’t really fun…at all…then, oh man, what am I going to do for fun?
Maybe I'll go back to the things that I did before I ever started drinking. Oh, I played with toys, video games...I never really gave myself that chance to grow up. It's like I'm stuck at fourteen, because the last nine years of my life were a total blur. Arggg
posted by Jen @ 4:15 PM
6 Comments:
At November 09, 2006 6:36 PM,
Anonymous said…
So you rhinj maybe the Lord is taking away your desire for alcohol....and thus giving you the strength to serve Him??
I s your commitment to him just situational ---when in trouble you lift up those promise laden prayers?(Lord, if you will help me just this time....!!)
Would you like your nephews hanging out with or dating people like you??? WHAT kind of a role model can you seek to be for them?? And what joy when you say, hey, I have tried that lifestyle and it is a pit that you have to continually claw around in without joy!!
Grownups don't just drink....they work, teach, learn and grow and help kids that seek wisdom.......
At November 09, 2006 7:44 PM,
Jen said…
I'm trying to take away my own "desire" for alcohol, with the Lords help. I think He lets me make my own decisions.
I can understand why you think that my commitment to God is just situational, with the, "if you really live for God you wouldn't do that," line. But the truth is that we all have bad thoughts, we all do bad things, and my weakness just happens to be wanting to have fun. And unfortunatly that fun comes by drinking.
As for my nephews (which you obviously know I have, but still chose to remain anonymous), I never expected to be a role model for them, when I never see them anyway. And when I do see them, I don't get sloppy drunk and smack them across the room.
I love God and want to live for Him, but unfortunatly my perfection doesn't come as easily as yours.
At November 09, 2006 9:01 PM,
Anonymous said…
My wife directed to me this comment and suggested I tell you it was not me that made that first comment about nephews. Your Brother in 2 ways.... Eric
At November 10, 2006 8:46 AM,
toby said…
Jen,
Here's the deal - why is it that you have to have a lot of alcohol to have fun?
That's not right, is it?
Here's what my druggie friends used to say about me, "Man, Toby, we would hang out and have a blast and not even be drinkin or smokin..."
I drink. I have fun. I don't do it in excess. I do have fun in excess, though. And even when I'm not drinking, I have fun.
At November 10, 2006 2:49 PM,
Jen said…
Eric! bro..oh man, serious relief. I love you, you read my mind.
Tobes,
No, I know it's not right, but like you said before, I'm not you.
Yeah, I've had killer times with my friends without smoke or drink. Then, when I was by myself, I was thinking why it's fun to drink. I even weighed it out, and I've had a heck of a lot better times sober then not. Last time I was crunked my best friend punched me in the face. That wasn't fun. And before the I drove home with double vision. So...you get it.
I really have been thinking about it (and praying) a lot.
I'll kick it.
At November 10, 2006 4:56 PM,
toby said…
Jen,
I just want to give you food for thought, fuel if you will, to help. I'm not judging, condemning, etc.
Believe me, alcohol is very destructive (we'll talk some time). I'm not preaching by any means (I know you don't think so).
You're a strong person. Stronger than you think. You were made in God's image. Look to him for him for help, and from those around you. Like I said before you're real friends will help you, the others...
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